These are the words of one woman who responded to my column on executive women fed up with the corporate track. Others wrote, "I can relate... I fit the category...I'm one of those women" while every woman said, "Your article spoke directly to me."

What spoke to them? It was a confirmation that they are not alone for wanting more out of life, validation of their choices, and for those who aren't yet clear on the next step--hope. It gave them words to explain what's happened to them.

Many have worked for large and prestigious corporations. Some are married and have children. Others are breadwinners. Some have started businesses: mail order, software training and computer and troubleshooting, real estate and retail stores. Others are still struggling with what to do next.

Kids, husband or not, they are reading from the same script. Some of the common themes and their own words follow.

• They don't want to say anything bad about former or present employers.
  "It's not that they were bad, I just wasn't reaching my fullest...I was constrained by the organization."

• They came to appreciate themselves.
  "I realized I'd been successful in managing other things in my life despite some desperate times. I had been the sole supporter of four children. I decided I can survive."

• They want more.
  "At 44, I had worked my way up to vice president. I climbed as far as I was going. They weren't going to give me more responsibilities." "I want to give back and serve for some greater good." "I climbed the corporate ladder only to find when I reached the top that it was never enough for the company. They set goals for me that were their needs, not mine." "I wonder if I can I get what I really want in other people's organizations."

• They struggle with what they thought they were supposed to be and what they want.
  "For two years I went back and forth with my decision to leave my job. It was painful. Once I left, the transition was easy." "When I reentered the work force, I had changed...your column helped to resolve my ambivalence and reinforce what I want."

• They seek balance.
  "My job was consuming my entire emotional, intellectual and physical being. I left to get a better perspective on what mattered to me." "I have already proved to myself I can be successful in my career, now I want to be successful as a human being." "I want my work, my children, husband and friends to be my life and source of self-worth."

• They're willing to sacrifice.
  "I'm working on a doctorate...when I return to the work force, I'll probably find a job with less pay, but with hours more conducive to a personal life." "I was paid well, now my husband is supporting us until my business takes off. I haven't bought clothes or things for the house. We can't save now." "I went back to night school while working full time and supporting my children. But I was so excited about what I was doing, it overrode everything else."

What finally made them change? "My daughter had a birthday and I was so immersed in a project at work, we celebrated her birthday two months late. Something was radically wrong," one woman told me. "A young girl from Eastern Europe was living with us. She commented that we had money and nice cars and furniture. But that I seemed very unhappy. She gave me a lot to think about."

Some women are making more money than before. "At age 50 I started my own business totally unrelated to my previous career and I'm having fun, making money and reaching my own goals," another woman wrote.

For the ones who started businesses that aren't making much money--yet--what keeps them going? "I realize that in no way could I ever go back to being constrained by 9 to 5 hours, memos, unending, boring windbag meetings, deadlines which are set solely for the purpose of creating pressure," a woman explained. "I know deep down that what I'm doing is right and good and is exactly what I want to do."

If you're thinking, they just couldn't cut it, that they lacked "the right stuff", think again. They've got just what they need--the courage to redefine their ideas of success.

© by Andrea Kay