Some people will put up with a lot if it means getting or holding onto a job. But how much should you accept because "it's just part of the job?" Or are there some things that are never tolerable?

"Things you should not put up with" include:

• Being physically attacked.

  An article in The Salem News focused on a nurse who had been bitten, kicked and punched by patients in her 13 years as an emergency room nurse. Nationally, says the article, "crimes against nurses and health care workers are as common as assaults on police and correctional officers."

  Is this just part of the job? Some might say that, said Essex County District Attorney Jonathan Blodgett. "But no one should ever have to tolerate such horrible behavior."
  
  

• Abusive behavior from bosses or others.

  No one should put up with the kind of behavior described by a Bedford, Texas woman in a Knight Ridder/Tribune News Service article a few years back. A secretary for a regional office of a federal agency, she had a decent job except that her boss routinely screamed and cursed. One day, though, he went overboard. She had transferred a phone call to him and he didn't like the person who called.

  After calling the secretary into his office and ordering her to look in a mirror, he said, " 'I want you to remember what your head looks like, because if you ever do that again, your head won't be on your shoulders anymore.'"

  She didn't feel she could quit because her salary was the family's only secure income and they needed benefits.

On the other hand, there are many "things you don't like to do"--but need to--as part of your job. They include:

• Participating in out-of-office activities.

  This can range from office picnics and golf or other sports to holiday parties or gathering after work. You might prefer working in your garden, but these are strategic opportunities to get to know people you work with in informal settings. If you want to get things done through others and build relationships that will help you be recognized, this is part of your job.
  
  

• Participating in team activities or off-site programs.

  These events may not take place at the office but they are definitely part of your job. Designed to help you and your department work together, it's expected that you'll attend and willingly participate.
  
  

• Stroking egos, going to lunch with people and selling your ideas.

  A lot of workers tell me they want no part of politics which can include going to lunch with people you don't necessarily like. But you'll make life easier and more fruitful if you learn what makes people tick and what ticks them off. Going to lunch is a great place to start. Yes, work is about doing your job. But with everyone else around you trying to get ahead, you'll get your ideas accepted by respecting and being aware of the power of others.

Women tell me they contend with offensive language from male colleagues because it's "just how men are." Executives tell me about the bashing they take from customers who can flush millions of dollars of business down the toilet in one fell swoop. Putting up with it is just part of the job, they say. Or is it? This is where it's not so black and white. Define your boundaries and be prepared to speak up when they are trampled on.

© by Andrea Kay