Every so often I hear from someone who’s certain they’re not getting a promotion, raise or the plum assignments because their boss is having a romantic relationship with their co-worker who is getting all of that—and more.

They could be right. Oodles of potential stickiness lies in wait when two people work and play together. And, according to some legal professionals, whether you’re the one in love or the company the lovebirds work for, you need to protect yourself.

There’s sexual harassment, discrimination and favoritism to name a few issues that could crop up. That’s why lawyers like Jeff Tanenbaum create “love contracts,” more formally known as Consensual Relationship Agreements. A partner with Nixon Peabody in San Francisco, Tanenbaum creates them for employees who date as well as married couples in the same workplace.

“It is simply foolish to try to ban workplace romance—it will happen anyway,” he says. So he advises employers to implement a written agreement that has romantically involved workers acknowledge the relationship is voluntary and consensual, to agree to abide by the employer’s anti-harassment policy, to behave professionally and not allow the relationship to affect their work and to avoid behavior that offends others at work.

Tanenbaum only recommends a company use them when a relationship has already started to cause a problem or when the employer becomes aware of a relationship—especially one involving employees reporting to one another.

“Office romances can have a negative impact on the morale of coworkers, and they leave you vulnerable to a sexual harassment lawsuit if the relationship ends,” say attorneys Amy DelPo and Lisa Guerin in Dealing With Problem Employees (Nolo.) Not to mention that a soured relationship can make two unhappy participants less effective workers, they add.

If you want to discourage office romance, you’re legally free to do so as long as you don’t allow your policy to focus on one particular group, they say, such as punishing only women for engaging in office romance.

They suggest a moderate approach and to only deal with the effects of romance. So if someone’s productivity drops because he’s involved in an office romance, deal with him through the performance evaluation system.

On a more romantic note, many bosses and employees or co-workers are capable of having a relationship that doesn’t get work and love tangled together. In fact, their work is a major part of their relationship.

Take Dr. Renata Pasqualini and Dr. Wadih Arap who head up a joint laboratory at The University of Texas M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston. Together, they conduct research in cancer metastasis, lecture worldwide and serve on advisory boards for government and international agencies.

The doctors met when a colleague of Dr. Wadih’s suggested he contacted Dr. Pasqualini who was then a scientist in Boston, for input on a research project. After communicating via e-mail and phone they met and within 48 hours he had proposed.

Ten years later, Dr. Pasqualini says, “We enjoy spending 24 hours a day together because we just get along really well without having to make an effort. We care so much about what we do, and we get to be together and work together to reach the same goals.”

More then 70 married couples work at M. D. Anderson including the head of the department of radiation oncology and the chief of the thoracic radiation oncology group and a pediatric oncologist and vice president of research administration.

The workplace is a natural place to meet and even find your beloved. If you discover yours there, talk about how the relationship can affect your work. Communication—the key to a romantic relationship—will also be the key to a successful working relationship.

© by Andrea Kay