Now Marty is a job hunter and he spends time meeting with me. What occupies his thoughts most is his belief that he made a mistake going to work for a large, competitive law firm and he's determined not to make any more mistakes. As a result, this fearless, determined lawyer has turned into an indecisive whimp.

He can't make up his mind about whether to wear his blue suit with the burgundy striped tie or the grey suit with the navy and white paisleys to an interview. Whether he should print his temporary business cards in ten or twelve point type. Not to mention what career direction he wants to pursue next.

"What do you think I should do?" he asks constantly.

So far, we've mapped out four possible paths. It wasn't easy getting there. One minute he likes the idea of specializing in health care at another large firm. The next hour he wants to focus on labor and employment at a smaller firm. On the other hand, maybe starting his own business or working in a legal department for a manufacturer on the East coast is the right move.

As we discuss his options, he rocks nervously in his chair then blurts out, "What if it's the wrong decision?"

"What makes you think there's a right one?" I ask.

"I should know exactly what to do and what will make me happy."

"Who says?" I demand. "Why not look at this point of your career as an exploration. Talk to people in the areas you're thinking about pursuing. Interview them. Ask them what a typical day is like and what they like and dislike most about the environment, their job, their companies. Then you can better evaluate your choices."

"I can't do that."

"Why not?

"I should know."

"But you don't."

"I'll look bad. They'll think I made a mistake."

"Maybe you did. Maybe working in a big law firm isn't right for you. So what?"

I may have pushed him too far. But I pushed ahead anyway. "Did you stop being bright, articulate, knowledgeable and passionate about the law just because things didn't work out at this last job?"

A light bulb seemed to go off in Marty's head. After weeks of questioning and chastising himself and doubting his abilities, he realized that nothing had changed. He was still the same, smart, competent and articulate guy he was before his last job ended. And the job experience he had just gone through--unpleasant ending and all--helped him know more about the best place to take that. He now felt free to explore something new.

I'm not a big fan of cliches on how life isn't about the destination, but it's the journey that counts. But when you look at your career, that's about the gist of it. You make choices and mistakes. You don't turn into a bad or stupid person because of your mistakes. You just learn from them and continue the journey. Just like Marty is doing.

© by Andrea Kay