But that's not the norm, is it? Which has got you feeling all rejected and crazy with self doubt.

As inexcusable as that is, the thing is, an employer's lack of response may have nothing to do with you. The job could have been put on hold. Your contact may have gotten sick, even died (it's happened.) They're overwhelmed with work or the interview process. Or they're uncomfortable giving bad news.

Logical as these explanations are, they don't comfort those in waiting. "They should at least have the decency to return my calls," insist job hunters.

Hoping it might help to hear it from the horse's mouth, I put this question to employers: "Do you ever ignore a candidate and if so, why?" Most said they have never done such a dastardly deed. Several didn't want to be identified.

"I can't help flashing back to my OWN days as an applicant," said a producer at CBS. "I remember how insane it would make me when I couldn't get an answer. So I make it a point to answer those calls, even if it's to say that I don't have an answer yet."

An owner of a Midwest graphic's business said, "Many times I don't call back people we did not choose unless they call. I don't seek out the opportunity to tell someone they're not my first choice."

Others who have ignored follow-up calls explain why.

"It's like dating," said a former manager at a toy company. "If you are interested you call back, if you are not, you don't call back. Maybe you aren't interested initially. So you call back when you are. Maybe another date falls through. You are left high and dry for the prom so you call back the second choice."

"I judge someone on the fact that they followed up and how," offered a marketing executive. "They get a plus for following up. Another plus if it's a well written letter. And a negative if they did it like an idiot, sounded desperate or communicated an assumption not shared by me. Then I don't respond."

Someone who turns him off has "spelled my name or company name wrong or laced the letter with typos, or said something like, 'I was so confident about my ability to handle the position that I turned in my resignation! When can I start?'"

"I also may not respond because I'm still evaluating the field of applicants and don't have time to be distracted. Or I'm still evaluating the person and don't want to mislead or get their hopes up.."

"I have not responded when something happened in the interview or afterwards, that triggered a switch that said, this person is not right for the job," says Dave Ratner, owner of Dave's Soda & Pet City in Agawam, Massachusetts.

"Sometimes I have felt so bad that I want to not have to write the letter. It is not nice no matter what the excuse. I am now embarrassed that I have done that!"

Karen Miller, director of corporate service for Costume Specialists, Inc. in Columbus, Ohio said, "A person who calls or emails multiple times can be disruptive and annoying." She added, "But you have a responsibility to tell the person at the interview that you're not ready to make a decision and you'll contact them and respond no matter how busy you are."

Which brings me to your responsibility. Don't leave the interview without a clear understanding of the next step. If the employer doesn't say anything about contacting you, ask, "If I haven't heard back from you in the next two weeks, may I call you?"

Respect what they say. And if they don't respond after two or three tries, it's time to move on and vow never to treat someone else like that.

© by Andrea Kay