It's one thing to be entertained as Donald Trump dramatically points his finger at his hopeful protégé and proclaims, "You're fired," on the reality TV show, The Apprentice. But when you're asked to leave your administrative assistant job in Sarasota or information technology position in Syracuse, real life reality is harsh and comes with a slew of issues to contend with.

The stinging pain and humiliation of losing a job is one of them. And that's the first thing you need to face by thinking through how you feel about what happened, if and how you contributed and what you need to change about yourself-or not--so it doesn't happen again. Otherwise, it's hard to deal with the other issues.

When USAToday.com asked the show's fired contestants, "What key mistake did you make to get fired?" here's what some of them said: "…I listened to my peers and did not follow my own instincts," says Kristi Frank. "…not focusing solely on the task at hand and not focusing on relationships," said Omarosa Manigault-Stallworth. "I came racing out of the gate too fast with big ideas and bold actions…I should have talked less and slept more than two hours each night," offered Sam Solovey. "…for being honest," said Tammy Lee. She added, "I wouldn't have done anything differently to save my job."

Many people, however, do not ponder this situation they'd rather not be reminded of. Ashamed and worried, they instead focus on what they'll tell potential employers. I get about five letters a week from fired employees asking me what to say.

Your response can depend on your circumstances and how you have come to grips with what happened. An East coast man fired for sending an inappropriate e-mail was telling interviewers, "I was fired for circulating an inappropriate e-mail." His credentials were air tight, but for nearly two years now, he's probably leaving interviewers wondering if he was some kind of pervert and a legal liability. He needs to delicately position his mistake so it's not blown out of proportion and assure employers he's learned from it.

He might say, "My department has a very relaxed atmosphere. In that vein, someone sent me a comic that I forwarded to a colleague and someone else found it offensive. As a result, I was asked to leave the company. I never intended to hurt anyone. It was an error, and I am much more sensitive now and would never do that again."

Another woman who's been job hunting for three years wrote to say, "I was asked to leave my last job. I concurred. Although I was productive, I was quite withdrawn, sad and very blue (my doctor would later diagnose acute depression.) When asked why I left my last job, I'd like to be truthful but don't want to go into detail, so I say, 'My personal life was causing me tremendous stress and pain. I wanted out but was financially stymied which, per my doctor, caused my acute depression.' Should I tell an employer I was depressed?"

I don't even understand this response, which makes me wonder what she's hiding. She needs to carefully word the circumstances surrounding a personal situation without sharing irrelevant information and quickly move to what's most important. She might say:

"My employer and I mutually agreed I should leave my job. I was experiencing some difficult health issues at the time, which are taken care of. Now, I'm excited about contributing my skills and experience to your company."

Many-if not most people-have been fired from a job. Come to terms with it before you interview. And be glad that 28 million people weren't watching when it happened.

© by Andrea Kay