It is music to my ears to hear from Jacob in Cape Coral, Florida, who says he found my article on Mike Lazaroff who went back to law school at age 45 "inspiring and informative" and will put it on his wall until it weathers. And nothing is more gratifying than hearing from readers like Pat in North Carolina, who say they are tired of being miserable because of past career decisions and are ready to change. Now is the hard part for Jacob, Pat--and you--if like them, you want to make change but self-doubt is spoiling everything.

Jacob says, "I too, am going through the same dilemma (of how to change careers), however I'm 28 years of age and feel trepidation about starting a whole new course of study, the study of law." He wants to know if Mike Lazaroff took his LSAT to apply to law school or used his life experience and what his bachelor degree is in. Although it might be interesting to know, Jacob doesn't need more information about Mike's life. He can gather data until the cows come home. Jacob needs to commit to take a risk before he actually takes it.

I am not suggesting he rush into anything. You need to know what you're getting into and how much it will cost you in time, financially and with your relationships. You need to imagine yourself doing this work you are considering and how it feels. You want to evaluate what can go wrong. Not rushing is one thing. But putting off your decision to take a risk is another.

"Don't delay" is one of the "don'ts of risking," according to Dr. David Viscott in one my all-time favorite books, Risking. "Commit yourself to the risk before you take it," he says. "Don't look into the chasm to see how deep it is. It's the width you must jump that's most important. It will always seem deeper when you go looking for excuses not to commit. Delaying at the moment of leaping is dangerous."

Pat wrote to say she is kicking herself for wasting nine years being a nurse and another four thinking about changing to doing something "I know will make me happy. If only I had figured this out sooner," she says. Pat keeps talking and talking about her regrets.

You are where you are. The decisions you've made and the pain and frustration you've endured gets you to where you are now. You change when you're ready.

Dr. Viscott puts it well, saying, "Do not waste time hating your past or your life. No matter how bad it was or is or how much suffering you endured, it was necessary to enable you to change, to move in the direction that is best and at the time that is right for you. There is a time for giving up the old and moving on. The moment varies with every person."

Whenever someone tells me they want to make a change, we examine what hasn't worked about the past first. Because, in part, to help you know you're making the best choice about your future, "you must admit and understand the mistake you made in the first place. We change for the best by seeking a higher level of honesty in feeling and by learning to accept ourselves and others as we are…" says Dr. Viscott.

If you want to change your career and life, it's important to understand how you get in your own way. You will probably be scared. But not because you're weak, says Dr. Viscott, but because you are real. Trepidation and self-doubt are a real part of the process. Just don't let them delay you another moment.

© by Andrea Kay