Nearly everyone tells me, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.” I’ve heard it so many times, it’s not only a hackneyed expression, it seems there’s an epidemic going around.

If you are one of these people, your confusion probably started when you were six or ten and some adult asked you, “So what do you want to be when you grow up?” Other than teacher, fireman, nurse, doctor or whatever profession your parents were, most likely you didn’t have a clue.

When you were older and thinking about your career, another adult may have said: “You should be a lawyer or do something with computers,” or fill in the blank.

It’s been drilled into your head that someday you’re going to be something and you’ll have a specific job title to strive towards. And here in lies the problem with so much career dissatisfaction.

Most everyone is trying to be something. Unless you’re absolutely certain you were born to be a rocket scientist or child psychiatrist (which trust me, most people aren’t), you’ll walk around thinking you’re supposed to know what you want to be, feel frustrated that you don’t and jokingly skirt the issue saying, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up.”

The only way to have satisfying work is to look at who you are. This takes work, but here in lies the solution to your career dilemma.

Start by seeing yourself as a body of skills, talents and interests—instead of a job title. Ask yourself: What am I good at? What comes naturally to me? What am I doing when happiest? What am I most interested in? What subjects interest me most? What environments do I thrive in? How do others describe me?

For example, let’s say you enjoy learning about people’s lives, advising and helping them solve problems. You’re interested in relationships, emotions, how people think and act, early childhood and theology. Others describe you as a good listener, caring and empathetic.

Knowing this information about yourself lets you explore where it could fit into the workplace. This might include the corporate world in a human resource role. You could work in non-profit, government, education, a religious entity, correctional institution, residential care facility, halfway house, hospital, group home or an organization involved in social change. You might be a counselor, manager or have another role. Focusing on who you are instead of the title opens up the possibilities.

Shopping for a job by title is not only limiting, it’s not realistic—especially today. There are millions of jobs, most of which you’ve never heard of. Take Ripening Support Specialist. You might be perfect for that job. But how many people say, “I want to be a Ripening Support Specialist?” (This is someone who handles the management of the ripening process at Chiquita where fruit is received, inventoried, processed and ripened.) You could fit hundreds of jobs not commonly known.

Many job titles have also changed or are being created. In part because serious structural change is “afoot in almost every corner of the U.S. economy,” says an article in a recent Fortune, and the U.S. economy is adapting to these new realities.

You must do the same. Give up your old notion of becoming something. Instead, focus on being yourself in a world that needs your skills and talents in a way that may not have even existed when you were growing up.

© by Andrea Kay