Daniel’s luck started when he helped a marketing executive named Tony who was job hunting. A freelance graphic designer, Daniel agreed to have lunch with Tony and call a friend he knew who might have a position. Daniel kept in touch with Tony, and even though the job didn’t pan out, Daniel made a friend for life. Within a year, Tony was named director of the convention center in their city and called Daniel to create the ads to launch their new facility.

This is pretty much how Daniel has built a profitable small business— getting to know and help people without expecting anything in return. It always ends up that he gets more than he ever gave in the first place.

Daniel is rare. Most people do the opposite, suffering from the career killer, What’s In It For Me? Syndrome. The key symptom: You only give the time of day to people you think have the power to help you.

As employees feel more swamped at work and fear for their jobs, this syndrome is more rampant than I’ve seen in 20 years. A recent survey asking professionals to share their worst experiences while connecting with new people shows how prevalent this symptom is. Conducted by the Nierenberg Group in conjunction with New York University’s Management Institute, the survey revealed how many people at networking events abruptly stop talking with someone and disappear when they see there’s nothing to gain from the other person.

This is one of the worst things someone can do, according to the nearly 300 responses to the survey. Specifically, they said people “moved on quickly after realizing I was not a prospect,” “left in the middle of the conversation to approach someone else,” “kept scanning the room while we were speaking” or “ignored everything I was saying while looking around.”

For the record, I think these so-called networking events breed this kind of behavior where a time period is allotted to see how many business cards you can collect. At one such event, I witnessed the facilitator announce, “It’s time to network—you have ten minutes!” then blew a whistle.

The other career killer is the I Need It Now! Syndrome. The key symptom: You only seek out others when you need something fast.

Folks who suffer from this claim they’re too busy to lunch with others or check in with people they know or to meet new ones. Only when they need something—like help finding a new job—do people become important to them. That’s when they start scanning their address book, asking, “Who can I talk to that can help me?”

They don’t have the patience for—or understand the value of—seed planting. Seed planting is seeking out and connecting with others with no gain in mind and before you need them. This of course, can take time but eventually some of the seeds sprout into new business and allies that can help you down the road.

Instead, most everyone wants instant gratification. When it comes to finding a good job, people run to the Internet, certain that with a stroke of a key, they’ll find their next job posted online—and usually don’t. When it comes to your career, patience, planting and polite behavior are what bring strokes of career luck.

© by Andrea Kay

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