People call me all the time to complain about their boss. Some are legitimate gripes. "He berates me in front of everyone" …"He just comes into my office and starts screaming."... "She puts me down with comments like, 'I can't believe you made that mistake again.'"

One of the worst situations I've heard of was a boss a man described like this: "He's a bully and a mean spirited human being with the worst temper. He's a little Napoleon, punishing and destroying anyone who gets in his way or questions his authority. He breaks the rules he demands we keep and relies on his spy network to get information on people."

The workplace can be "like a nightmarish schoolyard--a place where bosses shake down subordinates for the psychic lunch money and then stomp on their egos for sport," says Fortune's Kenneth Labich in an article on a book about abusive bosses, Brutal Bosses and Their Prey (Riverhead Books).

Author Harvey Hornstein, Ph.D., estimates that 90% of the U.S. work force has been subjected to abusive behavior at some time. He bases his conclusions on a survey of nearly 1,000 workers over eight years.

Whether it's an emotional putdown or abusive ranting and raving, it contributes to absenteeism and employees becoming physically sick. And it sure doesn't do much for productivity.

What makes a boss a monster? Hornstein attributes some of it to the pressure they're under because of restructurings and downsizings. "Feeling powerless, they enforce their power over others; feeling small they belittle others in the futile hope that it will make them appear big."

Whatever the source--the boss's home life, personal finances, pressures at work or if he's just a creep, the "why" is not the issue. And it's not your problem. The only thing you can do is be in control of how you react to the abuse.

You can try documenting the behavior and discussing it with him. It may not do much good. You can take your proof to personnel. Not much may happen there either.

When I once had an abusive boss, I confronted her head on. Here's what I said:

"I am a professional. I will not tolerate you talking to me like this. I expect you to treat me like a professional...with courtesy and without putting me down or yelling."

If that doesn't work, you have to decide how well you like your job. Then, every time the boss starts up, say something to that effect and leave the room until he or she changes the behavior.

© by Andrea Kay